Outside of the invention of penicillin, noise-cancelling cans might be humanity’s greatest creation. I’m not just making that obviously wild statement as an audiophile. Oh no, I’m spouting those controversial words as someone who has suffered from severe insomnia for many moons.
A couple of years ago, I was lucky enough to go on my ultimate dream vacation. Make no mistake: this was bucket list territory of the highest order. As a lifelong Jurassic Park fan, my best friend was gracious enough to join me on a trip to Honolulu in Hawaii.
In case you don’t speak fluent ‘Spielberg Dinosaur 101’, Honolulu is the Hawaiian island where several key scenes from the dino masterpiece were filmed – the gorgeous Kualoa Ranch, to be exact. Such is the pull of the all-time great 1993 masterpiece, 22 years on, the stunning tourist-luring spot still runs several JP themed tours a day.
So what does my favourite film of all time have to do with my AirPods Max and an incredible holiday I’d been dreaming up since I was eight years-old? That would be Apple’s first class noise-cancellation features. With a press of their highly effective Noise Control button, you could silence even the mighty roar of Jurassic Park’s T-Rex.
Not that I was overly concerned with the greatest (very much extinct) predator that has ever walked the Earth disturbing my sleep while staying in Waikiki with my bestie in early 2023. At full blast, the roar of the Tyrant Lizard King could probably shift this planet’s tectonic plates. Yet even the dino to end all dinos can’t hold a prehistoric candle to the constant hum of a mobile food van’s energy generator when you’re trying to nod off. But I’ll get to that.
To the Max
This is where my Apple AirPods Max’s $399 / $399 credit card-crippling price tag justify that significant outlay. They saved my sleep on this incredible holiday.
Sure, we all know effective noise-cancelling features can put a set of the best over-ear headphones into an elite bracket. Yet without trying to sound hyperbolic, my AirPods Max’s headline noise-kiboshing features put them up there with some of the finest tech purchases to have dented my bank balance.
Recently, and far from the picturesque mountain ranges of Honolulu, I rediscovered the power of Apple’s noise-slaying tech. It is quite simply the best in class din-dampening wizardry. This is a tale about trying to work at a kitchen table beside an adorable doggo, whose snores could perforate your eardrums. Again, that’s another tale I’ll get to in a bit.
It’s no secret that in a busy office, background noise (constant chatter, someone dropping a big jug of milk behind you, the low-level thrum of the printer/scanner/microwave/AC unit above your head, the gurgle of the water cooler as another colleague takes a glass) can severely dampen your productivity. It’s hardly a spoiler akin to discovering Darth Vader is Luke’s perpetually wheezing papa. Yet when it comes to craving peaceful moments on vacation, the AirPods Max’s noise-nixing features are nothing short of transformative.
When I had the privilege of staying in Kauai for a few days – one of the smaller Hawaiian islands that Jurassic Park was primarily filmed on – noise-cancelling saved my sleep. And the last lingering remains of my sanity. Despite being the primary filming location of what I’d argue is the greatest, most influential blockbuster of all time, Kauai also has one, far more annoying credit to its name… roosters that won’t stop crowing their guts out.
Cock-a-doodle-boo
The beautiful island is absolutely covered with them. And you know what? They really enjoy screaming for hours on end during the dead of night. As someone who suffers from crippling arachnophobia, it’s the audio equivalent of sharing your bed with a dozen tarantulas… all of which are into hardcore metal bangers.
Thankfully, my AirPods Max and their noise-kiboshing features helped to slay the rooster racket. I’m a poor sleeper generally, so I’ve never been more appreciative of a piece of technology, even if wearing Apple’s chunky cans in bed is pretty uncomfortable for a side sleeper like myself (although I’m told you can buy ANC sleep earbuds, too).
The best noise cancelling headphones can bring your lobes much welcome peace during what should be the most relaxing days of your life. You know what didn’t bring out my inner audio zen? Staying in an oh so cheap and cheerful two star ‘hotel’ in downtown Waikiki, one that just so happened to be situated above that aforementioned mobile food truck and the world’s noisiest generator. This is where noise-cancelling features really came into their own again.
While holidaying in Hawaii, my friend slept like a vampire… a vamp who’s been heavily sedated before taking that trip to the Land of Nod. I, on the other hand, could barely catch 40 winks during a tornado. Throw in relentless generators, cheeky chickens and the fact the residents of downtown Waikiki never seem to go to bed, and you’re left with an incredibly effective recipe for a terrible night’s sleep. My ears – nay, my very sanity! – owe my AirPods Max a lot.
Circling back to work issues, it’s hardly an eye-rubbing shocker that headphones able to nullify loud sounds can be tremendously effective when it comes to getting work done with minimal distraction. That brings me back to my recent issues with constant ear-pummelling pooch snoring.
A dog’s din(ner)
Forget any of the toothy residents of John Hammond’s doomed theme park; I’ve been staying at my cousin’s house recently and the noise his French bulldog makes would drown out the wails of that poor cow as it’s being crunched by Jurassic Park’s ruthless raptors.
Yes, Spielberg’s T-Rex could perforate your eardrums with a mild cough in certain movie theaters. But my cousin’s ageing Frenchie could easily ruin both your sleep and productivity from half a house away, due to its adorable squished nose and the resulting room-reverberating racket of her snores.
And hoo-boy, does that dog enjoy its sleep – just try writing a tech feature within 30 ft of that lovely little hound. Without my AirPods Max, I would never have gotten a single word written over the past few weeks. You’d think I was some sort of weird Frenchie whisperer, the way Pixie decides to plonk herself down for an epic nap the second she seemingly hears my digits tapping away on one of the best gaming laptops.
It’s no surprise that the finest headphones or best noise-cancelling earbuds can significantly improve your sleep and ability to work in peace. Whether dealing with a Hawaiian cockerel or a pooch who loves noisy napping more than I love oxygen, subduing ambient noise through headphone tech can genuinely have an uplifting effect on your general mood.
And when it comes to trying to catch some kip on a dream vacation, nullifying noise is an absolute soul-lifting game-changer. And my set of Max cans didn’t just save my trip to Hawaii – they were also lifesavers in both New York’s Times Square and Tokyo. Now those are two cities that really have a creative interpretation of what constitutes sleep.
When it comes to the AirPods Max’s best in class noise-cancelling, Apple is top of the tree in my book. Those premium cans have improved the three best holidays of my 39 years on the spinning rock, and for that, my eardrums will be forever thankful to them.
